Today is only December 26th and I actually can’t wait to take down the tree and pack away the ornaments. I want to feel at peace and have things in order. Christmas time becomes so chaotic as we get older. To be a kid again and truly be able to enjoy the spirit of the season, I wish I could relive that feeling once again. Right now all I want is to take a deep breath and regroup.
Every year I say “This year I am going to have all my shopping done and presents wrapped and spend the last week or two before Christmas just doing holiday things to get in the spirit with the kids”. Every year all I want for Christmas is to be able to take time to enjoy the little things in life that mean the most. But once again the hustle and bustle of life and had me so I felt rushed and it was hard to achieve all that I wanted to do in the short few weeks that precede Christmas.
One thing I was sure I wasn’t going to let slip this year was attending Christmas Eve mass with my husband and children. As expected they all tried to challenge me on this but they weren’t about to win. I wanted to find some sense of Christmas spirit and feeling of peace and damn it they were all coming with me whether they liked it or not!
This year was actually the first time in a long time that I was able to actually arrive early for Christmas Eve service. During the service I felt a strange feeling that I hadn’t felt in a long time, I was starting to feel almost relaxed and at peace. The kids weren’t fighting they were actually enjoying each others company even my youngest sat still the entire time almost angelic. I watched them and could see the innocence in their faces and the sparkle in their eyes. At that moment I had my Christmas wish possibly even a Christmas miracle.
As the final hymn was sung “Silent Night” I scooped up my baby,(now four years old) and held him tight in my arms and sang to him as I was surrounded by my family for that one moment I was at peace and had everything I could ever want surrounding me.
The service ended and the priest said “Silent Night ,Peace on Earth “ I looked at my husband and we smiled and knew that service was our one and only moment of peace. We loaded the kids back into the mini van and the cell phones rang , the kids started the usual car fight of who sits where. The silence had ended and now things were chaotic once again .
I look forward to next years Christmas Eve service for my Silent Night and moment of Peace and maybe just maybe I will have everything done and ready two weeks early next year.
Hope you all had a very Merry Christmas!